solutions and execution

as i grow older, the spirit of raya in has slowly diminised in the pit of my guts. It's not as if I'm not celebrating raya, but it is because the celebration of raya has been not up to expectation as previous years have.

Time and time again I have asked myself the same question. Why?
Thinking and solving problems are my sanctuaries. Execution of them are my enemies.

I've been thinking the best way to rekindle the amount of raya-ness in me. I have found the solution. I couldn't get the execution. Yet, as I thought about it over and over again. Continuosly finding other precedented means that could support my justification. The conclusion to my solution was simple.

SIMPLE.

However, due to the involvement of several parties in this less chaotic mechanism. The solution could not be done. Thinking again, it knocked on my head.

Few should be sacrificed to the betterness of all.

Is my family the few that should be sacrificed? Guess so. Nevermind. I'm used to be miserable and hiding it from 'people'. I know this for a fact, when you smile, others will too. I thought, eventhought this raya sucks for me, don't let the blokes around me feel it. Let them enjoy the raya-ness in them.

Thanks to this raya, I read a great Dan Brown novel called Deception Point.
Thanks to this raya, I got half-hearted raya sms's from 'friends'.
Thanks to this raya, I got car-lagged.
Thanks to this raya, I hearted someone.
Thanks to this raya, I got angpau.
Thanks to this raya, I didn't get any raya-ness at all.

p/s:waiting eagerly for this oddly mix of naz's kek lapis and mercun!