The end justifies the means~~

i haven't been bloggingfor awhile..you could call it writers block
(if i was a writer though)
or you could call it a reinvention of this so called blog.





I was reading back at the past blogs that I have written and I noticed that all my posts are dull and pathetic. Seriously if hadn't known better I thought it was written by some fuck that was seeking attention from the people around him. To appal to the recent trends of society. To 'fit' in with the 'normals' yet he himself crumbles due to peer presure and self-esteem.


I was reading this blog and it somewhere between the lines yelled at me. 'It' by some means just told me
'hey, just be yourself and ignore the fucks around you. Express yourself in writing as you would express yourself as you'
It really hit me in the head I just realized that I should do that. or should i do the opposite of that?

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the sky makes me look pathetic

I just realized the amount of pathetic-ness in my life.


I realized that i just wasted half of my youth to waste half of my adult life. sucks ehh.. its like, why on earth did I choose to go to a boarding school? why on earth did i choose to become somewhat of leader to waste my precious teenage life of not being resposible? why did I enter so many activities that i didn't have much time just to lay about and talk about nothing? why did I do all this just to get a scholarship and live happily ever after?


what if I could turn back time and do the opposite of what i choose to do?where will i be now? hanging out at bukit bintang? working in McDonalds? or blogging at 1 am?


Would I love indulging in social activities with friends or would i enjoy more staying in this cramped room studying for two tests on the same day?
Would I love hanging out after a hard days work in McDonalds or would i prefer hanging out in the library doing assignments after a hard days work of listening to lecturers.
Would I love the thought of not knowing where I would be in 10 years or would I be happier knowing that i will be working in a multinational company.(Petronas maybe?)


The fact is, men are never satisfied. They whine and whine and whine again. Over and over. Oh god, why did you give me this? Why did you do this to me? Why is my life so fucked up?
Haven't you thought that people are destined to be the things that we are supposed to be? I mean that we have our own purpose in life. yet again, i doesn't mean that you can't change the way you are but you definately can change the way you'll be getting there. it doesn't mean that if you aren't accepted into an ivy league university you can't get a nice job. foe me it's just the opposite.


for me~~the end justifies the means~~


p/s: indie is much better than mainstream