Lose some, Gain some

It has been a week since I've ended my internship at SLB. I've gain plenty of new friends, rekindled old ones and appreciated the ones that stayed. Thank you for making my 7 months fun and amazing!

What makes you happy?

A question that I've been asking myself for quite some time now. Is it shit loads of money? Or ultimate popularity? Or just a scoop of Haagen Dasz ice cream?

Its quite subjective to have a fully comprehensive understanding on the term "happy", but I managed to see a glimpse of it the other day. The funny thing is, it didn't manifest through myself but transpired through a third party, or should I say....a couple :)

So I gots this bro,  a very good man. Always has bad luck in relationships, I coin it as his inability to close, if you know what I mean. Well, long story short, in his attempt to woo a human of opposite gender, I was there to witness this budding relationship blossom into something real beautiful.

From being mutual friends, to being close friends, to being really close friends and I hope, if everything goes well, they'd jump into a beautiful and intimate role I call a loving and caring relationship. It kinda reminds me of what I've been through *smiles ear to ear*

Alright then, till next time.

Ps: if fates and dreams collide, it would be majestic

It's almost that time of year again

It's almost that time of year again, where you can reflect back and see what you have achieved.

Tomorrow I'll be 22, the big TWO-TWO, and it would make me.......well, 22.

I'm expecting this year to be a mellow, perhaps no celebration, perhaps no remembrance. I assume I'm just the guy you see when you walk to class, or the guy you see when you don't know really hard English words. I was never the guy people came to for thick and thin. I never had a best friend, nor I think I would have one in the future. I will still be that guy who's gonna stay at home over the weekend, waking up late, watching the TV and eventually die lonely.

Right. Review of my goals.

To be honest, I am a very simple guy who wants simple things in life. I don't care if I have millions of money in my bank account, or if I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 10 people. All I wanted was for somebody to love and to cherish.

With all my accomplishments so far, securing a job and shit. I deem my year of 21 unsuccessful. Because I lost the only thing that can make me happy. And whats worst than that, is that I have lost the will to love. I'm not sure if anyone can replicate what we had before, and I sure pity the next person I fall in love with, because she won't receive the same amount that you have.

I'm getting teary eyed with this. Dah la, benda dah lepas, buat apa ko nak pegang lama-lama kan?

My birthday wish for this year, is that I wish to move on. I wish to love myself more than I love another person. And I wish I won't be as weak as I was before. Please grant me that Ya Rabb.